No matter what we do as men to try to attract women, we’re always under the gun, aren’t we?
Assertiveness is often mistaken for being cocky. Acting somewhat reserved and thoughtful can leave you branded as a “shy guy”.
If you share too much information about yourself, you’re a “weirdo” or just plain desperate. If you don’t share enough (foolishly trying to leave something to the imagination) then you’re hiding something; you’re married, a player, a criminal, etc.
Women don’t make it easy for us to get them out on a date, and all the scenarios above can quickly reverse themselves depending on what girl you’re talking to.
It doesn’t get easier picking up ladies online: It’s no longer a taboo practice, practised behind close doors. Everybody’s doing it. Meaning you not only have to deal with all those preconceived notions and guarded personalities; you also have a lot of competition you’ll need to find a way to stand apart from!
If you’re truly looking to maximize your chances of coming across as a real man in your online profiles, without coming across like a loser putz or a complete donkey ass, read the tips provided below.
Then use them right away before you forget!
1. Profile Description
If you’re looking for a booty call, a simple “I’m DTF, are you?” will probably suffice. However, don’t expect to get many women interested in talking to you that way. Unless you’re George Clooney or some other hollywood stud, even the trampy girls will expect a softer approach and are likely to be turned off by a cheesy one-liner making it obvious all you want to do is get laid.
On the same note: this is women we’re trying to bridle here, so a long 500-word treatise on your life – including your likes, wants, hates, pet peeves, every band you’ve ever listened to, etc., won’t catch you many cute little honey bees either!
Two or three – three sentence paragraphs that tells prospective hotties your most basic info: job, favorite hobby, personality type, and maybe a blurb about your dog or cat for good measure, is all that’s required.
The Low Down on Profiles:
• Short means you’re a tail-chasin’ sleaze, you’re inarticulate, or that you plain don’t give a crap.
• Too long and they’ll think you’re desperate, picky, stuck up, or any other number of different implications that won’t net you a return message let alone a date.
2. Profile Pics
Guys really have no clue what the heck to do when it comes to profile pics!
A couple of easy no-no’s are:
• First and foremost: Do not wear sunglasses, ever! Nuff said on that one.
• Selfies in the bathroom mirror tell the girl you might either be: friendless, conceited, weird – pretty much any label is up for grabs, depending on the girl. Worse, they might see something in the background that flat turns them off.
• Pictures of your pecker: Seriously, you might be a big boy of Shane Diesel-like proportions, but even if they’re intrigued or turned on by your unabashed, shameless display; most women will disregard you for being a dumb-ass pig!
• Pictures where you’re surrounded by a bunch of other chicks: No fellas, this isn’t a good way to send a cloaked message to the eligible ladies on POF, EHarmony, or Craigslist that you’re irresistable to other women. It makes them think one of two things: 1) “Screw this playa, he likes to love em and leave em” or 2) “He either paid those girls to stand in, or jumped into a gaggle of girls dancing just before last call and got his buddy to snap a fast pic.”
• Glamour Shots: You’d better have “professional model” listed in your profile and you better look the part too. For the rest of us, a perfect pic with a professional background can make it look like you were so desperate you went out and dumped some cash on a photographer, or perhaps that you don’t have any friends or family who like you enough to snap a quick pic for you, or… who knows?
What to use for profile pics:
• Pictures where you’re chilling with a group of guys: playing sports, sitting around watching sports, at the beach playing volleyball, etc.
• Spending time with your family: make sure to label your pictures “mom”, “sister”, “daughter”, “cousin”, etc., to prevent date-killing assumptions.
• Pics while traveling the globe or somewhere outdoors: Makes you look active, open-minded, and adventurous at the same time.
Get the idea? Don’t make yourself look like a pig, a loser, a drunk, drug dealer, or a serial killer. K?
If you haven’t goofed off on the profile description and profile pic selection, the fine art of messaging the sexy princess of your dreams is where your chances to score a date are made or completely mangled.
You’re going to use a similar, yet slightly more reserved approach that you used in creating a profile. The trick here is to get them interested enough that they’ll go and read your profile and look at your pics, fall in love with the fantasy of meeting you, and then live happily ever after in a two-story brick on the edge of town – with you and the three-and-a-half kids you fathered with her. Right? Right…
Not too short, not too long either. The secret at this stage is to capture their interest. You’ll still strike out no matter how witty or attentive you come across. But eventually you’ll reign in one or two good prospects who don’t think you’re a jerk or a dud.
A good trick is to use information in their pics and/or profile and identify something you might have in common or can identify with then approach with that. Grammar and spelling are essential, unless their profile is a mess of text-speak, run-on sentences, and lack of capitalization or punctuation.
And don’t open with a “hi” or “hey”.
Something like this works great:
How’s it going? Your profile says that you’re a public school teacher. A friend of mine went to XYZ College and they’re working over at XYZ Elementary now. What’s your trick for remembering all the kid’s names on the first day of school?
That example comes across as sincere, like you read their profile, and you have a genuine interest in engaging with them.
To put a bad spin on the previous example:
Hey, how do you put up with all those dumb little brats. I can’t stand kids. Bet you can’t wait for retirement hunh?
Time for Action
You literally have all the essential information you need to get at least ten girls out of every hundred you message to answer you. Two of them are very likely to accept a date request if you have anything, personality wise, that’s remotely desirable to the opposite sex. Scared on landing on a gold digging woman? Check out our take on it.
Good luck and happy hunting!