To flirt or not to flirt? We’ve all done it, we all think about it, and some of us actually do it on a regular basis. Whether it’s always appropriate, of course, is open to debate.
Feel like you’re on shaky ground when it comes to the do’s and don’ts of flirting? Never fear, for what you have here is the complete guide to flirting tips for women. Below, you’ll find all you need to know about:
– When it’s OK to flirt
– How to flirt with confidence
– Flirting for shy girls
– When flirting becomes cheating
– How to tell if a guy is flirting with you
Chances are, you’ll find some of these flirting tips to be a bit …let’s say controversial. Flirting is dangerous territory, and any time you seek advice on something so personal, you’re bound to run up against differences of opinion.
What’s the best advice? Read on, try them out, and see which flirting techniques work for you. If you feel awkward, silly, embarrassed, or false…stop immediately. The last thing you want is to come across as desperate, out of control, or “hookup only” material.
With those warnings in place, it’s time to get to it: Flirting Tips for Women …
When it’s OK to Flirt
There are certain times and places where flirting is considered by everyone to be in really bad taste…and then there are occasions where nobody seems to agree.
Flirting at work. Flirting at work is one of these, where people are equally divided on the appropriateness of it. Turns out it helps you get ahead and wins you points during negotiations, especially when you’re asking for a raise. It all comes down to the indisputable fact that sex sells.
Flirting when you’re in a relationship. For the most part, this is not OK. Some girls, however, can’t help themselves because flirting is a natural extension of their super-social personality. If your boyfriend has a problem with your harmless flirting (assuming it is harmless) then you need to have a conversation and both of you should decide what to do with the situation.
Flirting with a married man. Wow, you’re really pushing the envelope now. Tempting as it may seem, stay away from this powder keg of potentially explosive outcomes. The only time this is OK is when you don’t know the guy, and it massages his ego to flirt once in a while. It can actually be good for a marriage if the man (and the woman) gets outside affirmation that they’re still sexy!
All systems go for everything else! Avoid the 3 flirting no-nos above and the rest of the universe is at your disposal for batting eyelashes, alluring eye contact or whatever form of flirting you happen to prefer!
How to Flirt With Confidence
Now that you know when to flirt and when not to, let’s make sure you’re doing it with confidence. After all, there’s nothing dignifying about tossing your moves about when you’re not 100% sure of what you’re doing.
In fact, whatever your personal flirting moves may be, the single most important factor isn’t how witty your rapport may be, or how talented you are at batting your luscious eyelashes with the right amount of eye contact…no, the most important thing is confidence.
Here are a few ways to up your confidence levels, for the ultimate flirting experience:
If you’re a bit rusty with the small talk, practice. Chat with your hair stylist, the girl next to you at Spin class, or the guy you buy lemons from…it doesn’t matter who it is, but polish up your chatting skills and flirting will be in the bag.
Incorporate small touches into your flirting game. Just a light touch on the shoulder will send the right energy, and if the guy’s into you it’ll also send wild shivers as well!
Use his name as often as possible. It’s a quick way of introducing an intimate mood to the conversation. Plus, everyone loves it when people use their name. It’s an ego thing, and by stroking a guy’s ego, you’ve done half the job of flirting already.
Give him a well-placed compliment. This creates a connection between the both of you- you noticed something about him, which means you’re paying attention. He’ll appreciate that if he’s into you. By “well-placed”, we mean try and find something that’s not quite so obvious, something he probably doesn’t hear all the time. If he has huge muscles, tell him how nice his brown eyes are. If he has unusual green eyes, tell him you really love his laugh.
Shy Girls Can Flirt Too!
This is an extension of the confidence-creating tips above, really. If you’re shy maybe the chatting doesn’t come easy. Or maybe touching a stranger seems totally foreign to you. What you need to do is nip your own feelings of awkwardness in the bud. Here are a few moves that are bound to work, even when you’re not the outgoing type:
Ask him a favor. Here, you’re triggering some deeply ingrained masculine instinct to help you out. But make sure it’s something easy and non-committal. Don’t, for example, ask him to hold your jacket while you hit the dance floor (what if he wants to disappear, get a drink, use the restroom, or talk with a friend across the room?). Instead, ask him to hold your drink while you make a really sexy adjustment to your dress or your shoes. He’ll be watching. Make sure to thank him.
Flirting doesn’t have to be sexual (but it’s certainly more fun!). If putting your “stuff” out there makes you nervous, then try some more subtle forms of flirting. Simply smiling a lot is probably the number one way to flirt, and it’s not necessarily sexual.
Play with your glass seductively while listening or talking to him. Just make sure you practice at home first. For those of you girls who aren’t good at chatting, this non-verbal form of flirtation does wonders.
When Flirting Becomes Cheating
Here we have one of the touchiest subjects there are when it comes to flirting. What is the fine line between flirting and cheating?. If you’re married or in an otherwise committed, exclusive relationship then flirting can put you in a danger zone.
That’s precisely the problem: while flirting can be harmless, it can also set up a scenario where something not-so-harmless takes place later on down the line.
It’s true, flirting is a great ego-booster. There’s nothing quite like it to put a pep in your step, come to think of it. It’s just that it’s SO easy for signals to get crossed and before you know it, one party takes it for more than just innocent flirting. When one person in the flirting scenario thinks it can go a step further and pushes the envelope, you’ve now stepped out of flirting territory and into the cheating game.
Are you flirting with disaster by flirting with a guy while in a relationship? Not sure? Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you flirt with just this one guy?
Is it unusual for you to flirt?
Are there just too many sexual innuendos?
Would you feel terrible if your husband/boyfriend found out?
if you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you may be crossing the line from flirting to cheating.
How to Tell if a Guy is Flirting With You
Sometimes you can totally tell when a guy is flirting, but more often than not, it’s a little hard to tell, especially when you don’t know him well. Well, good news girls: researchers are studying this for us! The University of Kansas recently revealed a study that breaks down flirting types. Here they are:
Traditional flirts. These are the guys who will make the first move, lean in to you, and cross/uncross their legs a lot.
Polite flirts. These guys keep a respectful distance from you, so it’s really hard to tell they’re flirting, so don’t miss their subtle signals!
Physical flirts. If he shows his hands when he talks, this is body language signalling he’s flirting. Also, he’ll show his flirt with nonverbal signals. That means you won’t be hearing so many compliments but he will be smiling a lot.
Playful flirts. Lots of compliments, having fun, puffing out of chests. Really!
Sincere flirts. These guys will create an emotional bond by showing interest in you and what you have to say. He’ll lean in, but his arms and legs will be crossed, unlike the traditional flirt.
The Bottom Line
With all this advice on flirting, you must be itching to get out there and give it a whirl. Just remember: be yourself, but just add a little bit of “flirt”. You’ve now got an arsenal of tools to choose from, and the knowledge to take your own personal flirting game on the road- to parties, bars, class, wherever the mood strikes you…now go out there and get ’em, girls!