If your track record in the dating scene looks pretty bad, perhaps it’s time for a little self-reflection. Are you guilty of any of these 10 worst dating habits? If so, it’s time to swear off these mood-killers right now.
So here they are, in no particular order, the 10 most offensive dating habits and how to break them.
10 Ways to Date Wrong
1. Not offering to pay on the first date. Come on, girls, this is the 21st century. You have a job, so at least offer to pay. Chances are the guy may politely decline anyway, but it’s a kind gesture and shows you’re a grown-up woman, not a girl-child who’s waiting around for someone to wait on her hand and foot. Because that’s what this leads to.
2. Playing hard to get. A.K.A. “Game Playing”, playing hard to get is a silly waste of time and signals future potential communication problems. Why are you playing with a guy’s mind right off the bat?
3. Blabbing too much and listening too little. By talking too much about yourself, you do one or all of the following things: 1) Show your date how self-conscious and nervous you are. 2) Show your date how self-absorbed you are. 3) Show your date how boring/petty/small-minded/dim-witted you are. ‘Nuff said!
4. Clinging to your phone. So many of us have this bad habit these days. Stop clinging to you phone like it’s a jerry-rigged hand-grenade you can’t put down because it will explode if you do. Calls, texts, Instagram updates and especially Tinder can wait! Turn it off and put it in your purse.
5. Letting your friends have an opinion. Of course it’s tempting to divulge all the juicy details of your date to your girlfriends. You want their opinion, right? Wrong! By allowing the gang to weigh in on your personal life, you’re quashing whatever special chemistry you may have with your new beau.
6. Letting your friends’ lives set the pace of yours. Trying to keep pace with your friends’ lives is a big mistake. Rushing to get to a certain “stage” early on in your dating life with a new guy is asking for trouble. Let things progress naturally, and forget about what your friends are doing.
7. Thinking you have a “type”. Saying “he’s not my type” is fine if you’ve gotten to know they guy and there simply weren’t any sparks. However, by comparing a list of attributes on paper with a mythical “type” you have in your head- that’s limiting your chances at ever finding love. Some of the best matches are between people who never would have expected to get along at all.
8. Forging ahead when there’s no spark (in you). Why string along a guy you’re just not that into?
Believe it or not, this is behavior that exists at epidemic levels throughout the world. Some women date guys they’re not attracted to because they simply want someone to be with until they find someone better. Big mistake: you’ll end up hurting someone very badly, and it might even be yourself. Some women date men they’re not into because they’re gold-diggers and they guy is rich. If that’s the road you want to take, why are you even reading this?
9. Forging ahead when there’s no spark (in him). This is another hard habit to break, simply because it’s born of human nature and simple chemistry. Sometimes we can’t help ourselves when it comes to a guy we’re hung up on. Try and be honest with yourself: if it’s clear he’s not feeling the same chemistry as you, try and wean yourself off the relationship and save yourself grief down the road. For whatever reasons of his own (see above), the guy may be leading you on for all the wrong reasons, even though he’s not into you. You’ll only have heartache in the end.
10. Living in the past. Forget your old boyfriends and move on. Leave your emotional baggage behind and view your new date as a fresh start. He wants to hear about your old boyfriends about as much as you want to hear about his old girlfriends. It’s not relevant, it’s not fun to talk about, and it’s not conducive to a great date.
How to Ditch Those Bad Habits
Recognize yourself in any of those 10 bad habits? If so, here’s what you can do to put a stop to your bad date behavior:
Be honest with yourself.
That’s right: the key to fixing all your bad dating behavior is just one big self-reality check. Start looking at your bad habits as manifestations of emotions, and things will start to get much clearer. In other words, get to to root of your bad habit and fix the cause. Here are a few examples:
- What’s the real reason you’re fidgeting with your phone on a date? Because you’re bored? Nervous?
- Why are you dating that guy you’re not attracted to: are you afraid of being alone? Afraid of failure?
- Why are you living in the past? Perhaps there’s something unresolved between you and an ex? Or is it just that you haven’t learned when it’s time to move on and choose to think positive.
- Why do you expect a date to pay for everything, every time? Are you a princess? Well it’s time to get real and wake up to what the world is really like…
- Why do you let your friends influence your own opinion of your dates? There’s a fear issue involved here, and it’s probably related to self-esteem. Fear of independence? Find your self-worth, work on your sense of self, and you’ll soon not care about your friends’ opinions. Fix this one before you let your hen circle ruin every date you ever have.
As you can see, breaking bad dating habits is a bit of work. It involves self-reflection and sometimes brutal honesty. It’s not easy to be completely honest with yourself, but it’s the only way of finding true love and building a long-lasting, satisfying relationship.