Strong women make the world better; they make us learn, live and grow. Strong women inspire us to reach for the stars; their mere presence ignites passion in a room. But do we know who these women are?
For different people, being a strong independent woman means different things. Some people will see an outspoken woman and call her strong, but is strength in the loudness of her voice? Some will see victims of harassment or domestic abuse and call them weak, but is that true?
So then, who is a strong and independent woman; what does she look like, and how does she do life? Read on to explore the many traits of this woman – yes, she’s that complicated! But she’s definitely worth your time!
How to Be a Strong Independent Woman in Today’s Society
A strong woman is neither defined nor limited by society’s thoughts on what she should do or become. She decides what she wants for herself, and then works hard to achieve it. A strong woman isn’t afraid to go against the grain and redefine limits set for women. She:
1. She Is Self-Aware
As a strong woman, you should be self-aware; knows who you are and what you’re capable of doing. Even so, you work on continuous self-improvement despite other people’s efforts to put you down. A strong independent woman is not afraid to be different if only to teach those around her to be true to self.
In her quest, she leaves no woman behind; she realizes that a victory for her alone is a shallow one. So she will try to raise other women to follow her, and rally behind those who went ahead of her. She knows that she needs others’ help – supportive friends, colleagues, and family – to get to her goals.
2. She Picks Herself Up
Failure is as much a part of life as success, perhaps even more so. A strong woman understands that there will be failure, hurt, disappointments and crushed dreams. She knows that it helps nothing to sit around and complain; problems need proactive solutions.
Instead, she finds ways to bounce back and works through her pain and grief to rebuild her path. She graciously lets go of dreams than may ever be reached, and continuously reevaluates her goals against her own realities. She understands that real failure is only in not getting up after a fall.
3. She is Independent, But Not an Island
A strong woman understands that true independence isn’t about never needing anyone’s help. In a society where women feel like they must compensate for their weakness by fighting alone to the top, strong women aren’t afraid to ask for help. She understands that asking for help isn’t a sign of fragility and helplessness; it’s realizing that no person, male or female, can do everything.
That said, strong independent women take care of their own business. If she wants a promotion, she’s not afraid to ask for it. She makes her own money to buy the things she needs for herself. She takes care of her bills; she doesn’t need a man to make her ends meet.
4. She Follows Her Path
A strong woman introspects to determine the things she wants for her life, outside of everyone’s standards or expectations. She makes decisions that put her needs first and isn’t afraid to be a little selfish for her self-preservation. Society has long cast women as suffering servants who give and give without tiring.
However, the strong woman understands that she deserves to enjoy life and come first from time to time. She will make concessions for those she loves periodically, but she does this on her terms, and with no apologies. You won’t make her feel guilty for any of her decisions, because she does her homework before making them.
A strong woman doesn’t wait for anyone to validate her decisions. She does her research, gets all the information and asks for advice, but ultimately, she makes the call. She doesn’t run around broadcasting her choices to see how many likes or compliments she gets; it was never about them to start with.
5. She Is Balanced
A strong woman understands when she needs to be selfish, and when to sacrifice her comfort to improve others’ lives. She knows when to keep fighting towards a goal, and when to fold and try something else. She understands the difference between following her heart and being fascinated with an idea and not its reality.
A strong, independent girl manages her expectations of life, other people and most importantly, herself. She learns how to temper optimism and realism and how to navigate the gray areas of her life. A strong woman is grounded, and she learns to find happiness in her life now, even as she works to make it better.
6. She Is a Go-Getter
A strong woman doesn’t wait for life to happen to her. She goes out and creates the dream and destiny that she wants for herself. If she wants money, she gets a job and works hard at it. If she wants a promotion or raise, she shows her worth and isn’t afraid to ask for what she’s worth.
A strong woman takes charge of her interactions and demands more from her social and familial relationships. She is not afraid to walk out of a toxic work or home environment. She knows she will always land on her feet as long as she keeps believing in herself.
7. She Takes Responsibility in Her Relationships
A strong woman is okay with being alone but understands that being in a relationship isn’t a license to lose her independence. While she allows her partner to convince her or compromises for the sake of peace, she is wary of a domineering partner that takes but never gives. She walks away from relationships that take more out of her than they give.
A strong woman will not stay with a disrespectful, insecure or belittling partner, and she won’t do these things either. She will consider her partner’s thoughts and opinions highly, but she won’t let her individuality be lost to the relationship. She will speak her truth calmly and respectfully, without resorting to emotional blackmail or hysteria to get her way.
8. She Does Not React Impulsively
A strong woman has learned how to hold her temper and not react to vexing situations in the heat of the moment. She exercises great control in the face of goading, choosing to walk away and measure her words. She understands that words and actions from a moment of anger can have life-changing consequences.
A strong woman doesn’t make decisions without thinking through them carefully. She will ask for time to weigh her options, do research, get expert advice and check with her loved ones’ opinion before making any decisions. She is spontaneous, but sensibly so; she doesn’t act on every wild idea that gets into her head.
Do Men Like Strong Independent Women?
The simple answer is: mostly yes. Since time immemorial, women have been cast as fragile, weak, needing heroes and/or aspiring towards being in a relationship. The result is that women who go against this are typecast as intimidating, alpha-females who repel men.
In truth, mature men are attracted to women who know themselves and have their lives on course. Of course, young, immature men would be more interested in looks, allure, and shallow attributes. However, eventually, when they want to settle down, men look for the strong, independent woman, because such women will help them achieve their dreams.
Mature men admire the grit, ambition, and confidence of strong and independent women, who can hold their own. The reason many women don’t know this is because of the misconceptions around this topic.
For instance, a man may be afraid to say that they look for a confident, successful woman, just because it might imply that he’s not willing to take care of her needs. The other problem is the misconception that strong, successful women are automatically man-hating feminists who are controlling and overbearing.
In truth, there are many admirable qualities in strong, independent women that men respond to:
- Confidence, which is its own kind of sexy and alluring
- Ambition, which makes a man strive to push himself to grow long with you
- Poise and elegance, which men love to stand next to
- Reliability and trustworthiness
Strong independent women are go-getters, problem-solvers who aren’t afraid of letting their own light shine. A man seeking your attentions knows that he has to become more what normal men aspire towards. You can take care of yourself, but he needs to show you why you should let him, sometimes.
Things Men Don’t Like In Independent Women
Not all men are attracted to the strong self-sufficient woman, and that’s okay. There are men that will gravitate towards insecure women or damsels in distress. The thing is, though, that an insecure woman is attractive despite her insecurity, not because of it.
As an ambitious, driven, independent woman, you might want to look out for the stereotypes that could be man-repellent. For example, you make six figures, but does your ideal man have to? High-achieving women sometimes end up alone, despite their many admirable qualities, because they set unattainable standards for their men.
A strong woman shouldn’t belittle her partner just because she makes more money. I daresay that respect is everything to a man; every man wants to be king in the eyes of his queen. Strong independent women can have some trouble letting go of the reins in a relationship, which becomes a problem to a man.
This isn’t to say that you need to dim your candle for your partner’s candle to shine bright. However, it does mean that you can’t look down on him, provided you chose to be with him and he’s working hard to reach his goals. That’s the key, to make sure they are his goals and not the goals that you set for him.
There’s room for calling out your partner when he’s not doing right by you, himself, or other people you care about. However, it should be done firmly but respectfully – yes, that word again. Talking down to him in a social gathering only breaks the man and drives him further away from your goal.
A lot of strong, independent women hurt their partners without even knowing it. This doesn’t make you a bad person, as long as you’re able to admit your wrongdoing and strive to do better. It is part of being strong; acknowledge that you can hurt someone and try to do better.
Strong, Independent Women Quotes
“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends.”
“Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion.”
“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me.”
“I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.”
“It’s possible to climb to the top without stomping on other people.”
“It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had.”
Too many things can be said of the woman who is strong and independent. She is reliable, but she doesn’t neglect herself. She graciously accepts that her body may never be perfect, and learns how to work with her best assets.
A strong woman never stops learning; she knows that she doesn’t know everything and isn’t right on everything. She keeps up with scientific discoveries, global goings-on, and technological inventions. She takes every opportunity to widen her knowledge base by reading.
Becoming a strong woman isn’t an overnight job. All the strong women you can think of are always working to become better in the areas they lack. Where the rubber meets the road, being strong is about trying to be better in all areas of your life.